


Take Me Back

by mytsukkishine



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bokuto loves Akaashi so much, Dealing with emotion, Lost Love, M/M, Memory Loss, Minor Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 07:35:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10589388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mytsukkishine/pseuds/mytsukkishine
Summary: Suddenly, he was kneeling, hand grasping his chest while the other clutched at his hair. He didn’t say anything. There weren’t tears, not a single drop but it’s getting hard to breathe—the feeling of being trapped, being unable to move.Feeling of your lover not remembering you.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you  
> Take me back to the night we met  
> I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you  
> Oh take me back to the night we met
> 
> \- The Night We Met by Lord Huron   
> (Song from 13 Reasons Why)
> 
>  
> 
> \--
> 
> pls. my first angst BokuAka. enjoy.  
> I wrote this super quick, maybe i'll edit this tomorrow (but i'm positive i won't have the time to edit)

Fighting the sting in his eyes, Bokuto opened the door, stepping out and then closing it gently. He felt a hand on his shoulders, the warmth soothing but not enough to calm his heart. “Bo…” Kuroo’s voice brought him back to reality, and it hurts.

He’s not dreaming. It’s all real.

Suddenly, he was kneeling, hand grasping his chest while the other clutched at his hair. He didn’t say anything. There weren’t tears, not a single drop but it’s getting hard to breathe—the feeling of being trapped, being unable to move.

Unable to do anything to fix this situation. “Fuck!” He shouted, echoing through the hallway. “Akaashi—he,”

“Bo,” Kuroo was also kneeling in front of him, hands rubbing circles on his back but it’s not soothing. Not comforting enough. He wants Akaashi.

Then running footsteps resonated, followed by pants. He heard them stopped in front of him. “I came as soon as—what happened?” It was Tsukki. He had never heard so much emotion in Tsukishima’s voice before. It hurts. “Kei… Akaashi…”

“Akaashi can’t fucking remember me, happy to hear?” He didn’t mean to come out rude. He’s sorry. But it hurts.

He’s really sorry.

 

~*~

 

Weeks passed and Bokuto found himself standing in the gym, watching as his teammates welcome Akaashi, who just got back. And the gym suddenly feels small, the air becoming humid to the point where—“Hi,”

Bokuto can’t breathe.

The beauty standing before him still takes his breath away.

“Oh, Akaashi…”

“Uh, I remember you, you were at the hospital, right? I didn’t know you were the… vice-captain,” Akaashi’s smile was blinding but Bokuto can sense the uneasiness. Who wouldn’t? When you don’t know why you’re vice-captain was worried as fuck when he woke up in the hospital.

Everything was fine, everyone was functioning well. Akaashi sat on the bleachers, watching his ‘team’ practice. It was going well.

Except for Bokuto.

“Bo, you fine?” No, he feels like dying.

“Yeah… Uhm, can I take a minute?” Kuroo looked at him before nodding, patting his shoulders as Bokuto walked towards the benches to grab his bottle and towel. Then his eyes landed on Akaashi, who was watching the game. Usually, Bokuto doesn’t take breaks.

But he’s out of breath. He feels tired. His whole world crumbling.

And usually, Akaashi would walk up to him and ask him what’s wrong, but not anymore. And that fucking hurts.

Bokuto breathed in loudly, dropping the water bottle before walking briskly outside the gym. He needed to get out of there, it’s getting stuffy. It’s suffocating to be in the same room with Akaashi.

 

~*~

 

“Akaashi quitted volleyball,” Bokuto just nodded, eating his sushi even though he feels like vomiting. “Bokuto, are you okay?” He didn’t answer, he continued eating, continued to reminisce the memories he had with Akaashi, continued to think about the ‘what ifs’, continue—and then he choked. Letting out all that he had eaten.

Out of breath… out of hope. Still, there were no tears pouring down his eyes as he tries to breathe. But no matter how soothing those hands that were patting his back right now, it’s useless.

Useless. Like their love story.

 

~*~

 

Akaashi has beautiful hands. Bokuto likes them—no, loves them. With a little rough edge because of volleyball, it’s still perfect. It’s soft, warm, and full of caring that gets Bokuto addicted to holding Akaashi’s hands.

And seeing those hands holding someone else’s.

Bokuto ran to the bathroom, out of breath, felt like dying.

He vomited. No tears, no sobs.

He can’t breathe.

 

~*~

 

“I thought you’ll be more like your team,” It brought Bokuto back from his thoughts, eyes squinting a little at the dark atmosphere, and there he sees his team, dancing wildly to the music. He then turned his attention back to the one who spoke, “Ah…” It was Akaashi.

Even with the odd lights and loud music, Akaashi looks beautiful. Akaashi smiled, looking all clean and proper at the suit he’s wearing. Unlike Bokuto, his two buttons were opened and sleeves folded.

“I’m… I don’t really feel like dancing,” He answered, voice breaking a little. He feels stuffy just being near Akaashi. He wants to hold him. “Hmm… say, wanna dance?”

“Wha—” Before Bokuto could comprehend, he was pulled in the dancefloor, getting bumped by some dancing students.

He inhaled deeply.

They stood in front of each other, Akaashi looking up at him.

None of them moved. A complete contrast to their surroundings of dancing students. Bokuto tried to focus on something else, listening to the upbeat song as he cleared his throat. “Danc—”

“You’re precious…” Akaashi started, looking down on his feet.

Bokuto wasn’t wearing a tie, but he feels suffocated.

“And you deserve someone _who won’t forget you_ …” Even with the music blaring, lights blinding. Bokuto can still hear and see him clearly.

Too bad Akaashi just _can’t see him clearly._

“I’m sorry…” Akaashi grabbed Bokuto’s hand and handed him something.

Something that made Bokuto’s inside churn.

It’s hard to breathe.

“I think I broke whatever promises this ring held… I’m sorry,” Bokuto looked at the ring, eyes stinging as Akaashi’s hands left his only to cup his cheeks. Bokuto stared at Akaashi’s eyes, heart pounding against his ribcage as Akaashi kissed his cheeks gently before turning away.

Walking away.

No more—

Then Bokuto ran, away from the gym, to the hallways full of lockers before tripping on his own feet, landing harshly on the cemented floor.

He laid there, the ring still in his clutch as tears finally poured down.

Big fat tears escaped his eyes. Running down like water trapped in a dam for years.

“Akaashi…” he whispered, sobbing loudly, lungs hurting.

Everything feels— “You didn’t even try…” Bokuto moved slowly to a fetal position, holding dearly the ring that held so many memories and promises close to his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> comment your thoughts.  
> pls be gentle :D (or not, i take loooooong say of feels)


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